Scared.

My life is in ruins. My god, my sister is always there and yelling. And people just gotta yell at me. I'm scared and they don't understand. I'm so scared now. I'm sitting here shaking and just gotta tell someone, even if no one reads this, it'll be good just to vomit my feelings up right now. I gotta tell you, theres so much turbulence in my heart right now, that I feel like a river, at some point there has to be a waterfall. We can only pray that our raft stays afloat. Theres no doubting that the raft will end up going under at one point or another, but as long as it bobs back up, we WILL be safe. I dunno what I'm going to do. There are friends there, holding out a hand (or paw), all wanting to help. But there are so few people I can trust today. Or any day. I can't trust my sister ever again, my family is there, lovingly tripping me trying to destroy all I hold dear, and yet all I can think of is what a friend told me some time ago...

James, It'll get better. Trust in yourself and your god.

Isn't that what we all should do? So much has happened, and so many have died. I dunno. I'll live, i know that much.